All I am Saying -- Give Me a Break

Dear Readers,

After watching The US vs. John Lennon, a moderately entertaining VH-1 produced documentary about the late singer's battle to stay in the United States and ultimately lead to his "unrelated" assassination, I have decided to recap some of the worst moments I have seen in music related films.

1. The Pink Floyd in Pompeii - This pre-Dark Side of the Moon video is basically one large acid trip while watching the band play music alone in an amphitheater. Lowlights include David Gilmour making a song with a howling dog, and a two part version of the song Echoes.



2. The Smashing Pumpkins Viewphoria - This video created at the height of their popularity is amazingly sullen considering their financial aspirations were on the verge of becoming a reality. For those struggling artists looking to quit the business in disgust, skip right to the chapter that contains a mock British group therapy session that would be Spinal Tap worthy if it didn't seem so serious. It is obviously placed in the film for fun, but it comes off as highly annoying. Billy Corgan's "Over the Rainbow" a capella interlude during the final song, Silverfuck, which has been removed in the DVD version (probably for copyright purposes) used to be the negative clincher for the casual fan.



3. Led Zeppelin's The Songs Remain the Same - Easily the worst serious live footage ever committed to film. The band decided to weave these horrible dream sequences into the movie for "entertainment" purposes, which at best is confusing and at worst could easily be blamed for the bombings in Cambodia. Don't believe me? The film opens with producer Peter Grant, dressed as a gangster, who drives up to a house filled with people in rubber monster masks, and shoots them with an old-style machine gun. It only gets worse from there -- Robert Plant acts out a scene as a knight...you get the drift. Zeppelin shows their broad subject matter repertoire to the audience by playing songs with varying themes like:

Rock and Roll - about chicks
The Song Remains the Same - about girls
Rain Song - about the ladies
Dazed and Confused - about women
No Quarter - about a sex other than men
Stairway to Heaven - about fairies and elves
Moby Dick - presume it is about fairies and elves
Whole Lotta Love - this one's for the ladies in the house
Black Dog - Oh you women!
Heart Breaker - are there any ladies left in the house?
Since I've Been Loving You - hello ladies!
Bron-Yr-Aur -fairies and elves
Autumn Lake - not sure -- I'll go with women.



4. The Ramones End of the Century - An excellent documentary that really gives you insight into the band and the punk movement. It only makes the list due to the DeeDee rap, which can be found on YouTube, and has been posted on this site previously.

5. Kurt Cobain in Kurt and Courtney - A completely disjointed OJ-esque search for the real killer documentary that happens to be the first movie to review the singer's suicide. The film probably got more attention than it should have, and is a classically bad schlock-u-mentary. All you get is the sense of that if Cobain didn't commit suicide, he probably should have. Disclaimer: no Nirvana music was used in this film.

Well, that's about it for this edition of the best of the worst. Feel free to submit your own.

-TRM